Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
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