The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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