Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
I'm both gender and math confused
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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