good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
