he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Randomize
