whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
