Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Randomize
