The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
