You really coming over, don't trick.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
