We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
she smelled like a LAN party
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
