OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
My feet surprised me
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
