I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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