So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Randomize
