My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
false alarm, still single
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
