her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize
