Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Randomize
