it wasn't lemon gatorade
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
