16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
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