isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
We are all done wearing pants today
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
