I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
