Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
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