Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
Randomize
