spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Randomize
