Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
She even gives head with a lisp.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
my god I love twenty year old dicks
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
