he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Randomize
