Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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