if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
