Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Never underestimate the power of titties
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
Randomize
