I think I died a long time ago.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
