who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
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