i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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