Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
