The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
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