well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I am naked and annoyed.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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