Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Houston, we have a blender
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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