We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
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