Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
