if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
