He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
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