Can Purell be used as lube?
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
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