dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
And then my night got REAL pukey
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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