Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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