So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
