seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Randomize
