new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
