If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Randomize
