i really wish james franco would like my vagina
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
Randomize
