they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
Come see our sink grown plant.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
