We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Randomize
