I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
