I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
