somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Randomize
