We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize
