I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Randomize
