In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Mom said you looked used
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
