Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
