Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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