I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
