maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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